12-31-13

Good morning 

Happy new Year Eve

Hope you are ok

It was great to see you yesterday at Brian's

It's great that your back and able to see the b's

Awesome

When did that change 

Hopefully you will be able to see other mummy for many months

I hope you are ok

I hope that you are enjoying your vacation

I hope that you have fun

I miss you both 

But you know that 

I wish I were there with you 

I wish I could see you 

I wish I could hold you 

That's what I miss 

Hugs 

Seeing you 

Making lunch 

Making dinner

Taking you to eat 

So much 

There were always good times 

There are so few good times for me now

I got a text from the lady that use to do our nails

She misses you too

You should go say hi

:-)

I said I'd keep in touch with her

Shame that we no longer get to see her kids grow up as well

Off to work now

Have a good day

I love you 

I miss you 

Daddy xoxo

12-30-13 Hello

Good morning 

Only today and tomorrow left for 2013

Wow

I'm guessing that you'll be with the babysitter or Ma tomorrow

Wish you were with me

I'll go to bed early

I might watch some firework displays for you and record them onto YouTube 

I'm not sure

This morning I awoke and the heat is off 

Oops

I think it comes on in a 1/2 hour

The thing is so hard to read

Oh well

I'm off to work in 10 minutes 

I don't care 

Lol

It's cold but not devastatingly cold

Siobhan can fix it when she returns

I miss the digital one - you know where you just enter the time

But then I couldn't get that to work at 2280 either 

It's me

The other day Siobhan asked if the satellite were working for the TV

No

But I can't be 100% sure because I can't get the tv to work properly anyway

It's not something that I watch so therefore it's immaterial to me 

Lol

I have the laptop

I watch Netflix via the laptop

Works for me 

I like Netflix it's perfect 

Did the Police ever return the laptops to you?

It was very wrong that they took them

I know why but they should have returned them anyway 

Oh well

When they do you will at least have a nice laptop with some great sound system for yourselves

I miss you both

I love you both

Yesterday I found another beach

It was a 2 hour drive away 

That's like going to Palm Springs

Amazing!!

It was lovely there 

I took lots of pictures and three video

You can see on Shutterfly and YouTube if you want

On the 1st I will be going to have lunch with Fiona and the kids

She's been strange recently 

But they  are nice people so I should do lunch 

Love always 

Daddy xoxo

Hello 12-29-13

Good morning Sebastian & Kaitlin

How are you?

I hope all is well

Daddy is tired this morning

But I have to get things done

So I have changed my bedding

But since I hurt from talking it has made me ache even more

Joy

It's ok that you don't text often Sebastian

I know that you love me

I hope you know I love you 

I know me being here and you there is very hard

Probably better for you not to have me anyway

That's what most people think

:-( 

I miss you very much

I love you with all my heart

I hope you liked the pictures from yesterday 

They're for you

I found this beautiful beach

Walked miles and miles 

Lived it 

Came back to b/s from people but whatever 

Much love 

Always and forever 

Daddy xoxo

Hi 12-28-13

Good morning 

How are you both?

Hope you are ok

Daddy is still in pain after falling

Oh well

It's ok

I'll live 

Grandpa came and fixed the restroom for me

Now I can use it without worrying that the water will leak all over the place

This morning I stayed in bed until 825

That's a record for me

Lol

What have you been doing over the Christmas break?

Are you having a good time

Today I am going to search for some sand 

I think I need the ocean and to feel the sand on my toes

I miss that so much 

I have been watching "The Fosters" a good show set in San Diego

Reminds me of home .

it's  a good reminder 

Hopefully soon daddy can come home

Hopefully you still want me there and still want me to be your daddy 

Live you 

Always and forever

Daddy xxx

Hi 12-27-13

Good morning 

How are you?

Hope you are well

Hope that you had a good day yesterday 

I saw the pictures that mom added to Facebook

That was nice

Still very stormy here 

That's cool though

Yesterday I took Nikki's friend Alex to Brighton 

(Her home) which was is nice 

Her apartment is cool

Overlooks the ocean

Nice

Very nice

She's a nice person 

Nikki has known her more than 20 years I think

Long time anyway

She hooked me up with a parking pass 

Brilliant

So that meant I got to walk around Brighton and took the video for you

Cool huh

Did you know that Stephanie, Tammy and Benton are in New York

That's cool too

Brian texted me and they want to go to the car show at the San Diego convention center

That's cool

They were asking me for directions and prices 

Good I remembered 

Lol

I wish I were able to take you 

Or to anything 

I miss you so much 

I love you

Daddy xoxo 

Hi 12-26-13

Good morning 

I hope you had a good day for Christmas 

I hope mom got you lots of stuff to unwrap

You already unwrapped the stuff I got you

Christmas for me is not as good without you 

:-(

I gave Oliver and Annie money 

I gave Britney and Britanya and Stephanie and Tammy bracelets

I gave Benton a book and Brian a wallet 

When I say I, of course it is from you as well

The B's all have their gifts 

The T's didn't text me yet 

So I'm not sure if they got them all 

Hopefully they did 

Mom and dad gave me Ferrari cologne and a Starbucks card

That was of them

Nikki blew up on of the pictures with you in the London hats and gave that to me for the wall

That was nice of her

I have to take Nikki's friend to Brighton today 

Nikki asked me as the trains here are all messed up still 

It took Alex many hours to get to London on Tuesday 

Oh well

That's life 

I'll take her home it's a nice three hour drive for me 

(Round trip)

I miss you both 

I love you both 

Love always 

Thanks for texting me yesterday Sebastian 

That was nice 

Shame that you couldn't talk to me for Christmas 

But I know you were busy having fun.

I think Kaitlin that you just texted me Merry Christmas too 

That's nice as well

I asked Sebastian to give you a big huge from me 

I hope you got that 

Love you both 

Hope you are ok

I miss you 

Daddy xoxo

Christmas Poem #2

Night Becomes Day

Night becomes day, day becomes night,
Nightmares abound, where is the light,
Pain is searing, another day nearing,
But I cannot do anything right.

My head is dead, my body a machine,
There was some sun, but it was not seen,
The warmth is cold, the face is dry,
Down the face the tears run by.

This is not life, it is a death,
Where are you God, have we met,
I look for you, I need to go,
Why is my death so slow.

Then in my ear came a little whisper,
Through the window the snow was crisper,
A breath of life, a little hope,
Stay strong my friend you can cope.

I felt the warmth, I felt some love,
I felt at home as if in a glove,
I looked in the mirror, I felt alive,
I know that I will wait till you arrive.

Till then I know I must be strong,
I must not allow them to do wrong,
So now my children, though we are apart,
I stay alive for our lives to restart.

Christmas Poem 2014

When I woke up this morning
A tear rolled down my cheek
I cried so much I couldn’t stop
To breathe or even speak

I miss you more as each day goes by
Not knowing when I’ll see you again
Will it be soon or a long time away
Please someone tell me when

I’ve got these words I need to say
To tell you all together
Ill' travel the world till I see you all
No matter what the weather

I need to go now and get some rest
So in the morning I’ll try my best
To cheer up and not be down
Because I can’t see your face's around

To my Sebastian and Kaitlin I miss you so much,
My love now and always

Daddy xoxo

Missing You - Especially at Christmas

I Miss My Kids

Especially At Christmas Time

I miss my kids and wish I had them in my lap right now.  

I miss the little sweethearts tearing through the house like tiny tornadoes leaving a trail of “stuff” in their wake.  I want to feel their giddiness and excitement grow as Christmas gets closer each day.  I want to read endearing ridiculous Christmas lists on my refrigerator.  

I want to see the joy of childhood on their faces staring back at me telling me I’m the greatest person ever to be born.  I want to see them tumbling around in their Christmas jammies, cookie icing dripped down the front after creating their masterpieces for Santa.  I want to snuggle in bed with them, just before the last goodnight kiss, reading or watching Cars - The Movie

           

I miss my kids, especially this time of year.  You ask, “Where are they?”  They’re right here, always in my memories.  I love my children, I miss seeing them so much.

Hi 12-24-13

Hello

Happy Christmas Eve

How are you both?

I hope all is ok

I am ok

Kinda

I tripped fell and hit my butt and my head hard last night 

Not a good idea 

Oh well

Problem was that I fell into the pipe that feeds the water to the restroom

Oops

I was laying there in a pool of water that was just getting bigger and bigger

Oh dear

Nikki's husband came and brought some tools to fix the pipe 

Or rather stop the water leaking 

We have to did it now on Friday 

That's ok 

Just can't use the bathroom 

I'll live though with that 

Hope you are well

Hope you have fun things to do today and tomorrow and the rest of the week

I miss you so much 

I want to hold you 

To hug you 

Nothing is more important to me

I can't wait to see you again 

I dream of that day 

Off to work now

Hope you have a great day 

Love always 

Daddy xxx

Hi 12-23-13

Good morning Sebastian & Kaitlin

How are you?

Hope all is good 

I am ok

Tired but ok

I went it bed at 10 last night

Just couldn't stay up any longer

Wow

Unusual for me

But then Jasmine and Alexander wore me out in the park

Lol

It was fun to hang out with Gengiz and his kids

Of course his wife made some awesome food too

Shredded crispy duck

Darn that was good 

Plus some kind of stew

That was good too - the duck was amazing 

Hanging with the kids always makes me think of you even more

How much we used to enjoy being together at the park or the beach

I'll see you again soon

Bill will introduce me to Carlos again

He's the assistant director at a hospital in Tj 

Perhaps I can get a job there

Won't make much money but I'm used to that right now 

It's closer to you and on the same time zone as you 

That's what is important 

I'm sure that I will be able to get an apartment cheaper in TJ 

That's what everyone tells me anyway

I miss you 

I love you 

I'm off to the office now 

Taking the train today as we're going out tonight 

Could be fun 

Love always 

Daddy xxx