August 1 2014

Good morning and happy 1st of August 

Wow

Gone quick

18 more days to school 

Oh my God

Wow

I love you 

I miss you 

I wish I were there with you 

This morning it is darker 

Wow

That's been strange since each morning it's been so bright and light 

I'm going to hate that 

I hate the dark

Last night i ate ribs with Siobhan

Roommate 

It was nice 

I really enjoyed them

This evening I'll cut back 

Drastically 

I think I'll have cereal but I will have lunch 

I did have a couple of beers and a shot of tequila

That was lovely as well

What have you been doing 

Anything fun

I hope so

I really miss you both 

I wish I could just snap my fingers and be home 

I need that li need you 

I wish you were with me 

Maybe next year I'll have the resources to be in Mexico 

Possibly with Sherry 

That would be awesome if you were able to come and see me

Even if I just hold your hand through the fence at the border

Would you be ok with that ?

Will you want to see me?

Hope you have a lovely Friday

Love you 

Cherish every moment that I had with you 

You are all that matters to me 

Goodnight / good morning 

Daddy 

Today tomorrow and forever 

Love always xoxo

Hi July 31 2014

Good morning Sebastian and Kaitlin

How are you?

I hope you had a good day

As you saw on text I went to London yesterday 

That was nice 

I enjoyed the train ride 

I also enjoyed Ben and Millie's company 

They were fun

We ate at the Hard Rock Cafe 

That was the initial one and despite the amazing long line to get in it was awesome food 

Really really awesome burger and max n cheese 

Sweet 

After that we went for ice cream

No cold stone creamery here but haagan Dazs which was delicious 

Almost too much food 

I think I over indulged in rich food 

Quite a good day :-) 

What did you do 

Where did you go 

It was your moms 1/2 day yesterday too 

Did you go swimming 

Or to the beach or ??

I also got a text from Aunt Tina

That was cool 

She's ok

I miss you 

I love you 

I want to be with you .

Nothing else matters 

I will be sending you some money early next week

I will be paid tonight I hope 

Lots of love 

Daddy xoxo

Hi July 2014

Good morning Sebastian and Kaitlin

How are you?

I hope all is good

Today is Wednesday 

That means mom is off for. 1/2 day right?

I hope so

I hope that you get to go swimming or do something else fun

That's always great right

I have a 1/2 day today as well

I am going to London 

I will see Ben and Millie with Fiona 

I also have a client that I will drop off some stuff for 

That should be fun

I can't wait 

We'll get some Chinese food and some ice cream 

Sounds great 

Work looks hectic though 

So that's kinda bad 

Oh well it's just work and that is life 

From tonight I am on call all the time and will have my phone on to get text alerts 

Lovely

It's ok though 

Especially as it's to cover Julian and Eamonn as they will both be on vacation 

:-) 

Lucky them 

It doesn't bother me

I hope and pray that nothing bad happens when they are not here

That none of the systems crash

It will be what it will be 

I'm ok with that 

I miss you so much 

I love you with all my heart 

I wish I were there to hold you 

I wish I could see your smiles 

That's all I need in the day 

Love you today tomorrow and forever 

Daddy xoxo

Hi July 29 2014

Good morning Sebastian and Kaitlin

How are you?

I hope you are well

I hope that you are spending the remainder of your summer vacation well

I hope next year that you can see me in Mexico

That would be nice 

That would be awesome to be honest 

With some luck by Christmas I will have the restitution paid off

Then I will have more of the credit card bills paid by mid year next  year 

That is the goal

Once those bills are paid mom should allow you to come and visit me 

I certainly hope so anyway 

That is what she has said in the past 

That she won't let you see me until the bills are fully paid 

So that's is the ultimate goal

I wish I could pay them immediately but it is very hard work living here 

This month has cost all the money that I had with the car damage and buying a new one and all that crap

So sorry 

Last night I saw a movie called about time

It was about a dad who could travel back to where he'd been

At the end of the movie the dad and the son travelled back together to when the son was a little boy 

It made me remember and think of the times in the store that we were together 

That we ate together that we played with the lego together and more so much more 

It made me cry 

I don't mind admitting that I cried because I miss you both so much 

It is hard for me to be so alone 

To constantly think about the loss of the two of you 

You are there 

I am here 

But the distance between us is so vast that we can't get together just yet 

Nothing in the world matters more to me than you 

I will do whatever I can to be closer to you physically and emotionally 

I need you 

I can only hope that you will need me in the future and that you'll always think of me as your dad

It's all I ever wanted 

Children that I could love and spoil with my time and friendship 

Mom said I am a good friend but a terrible husband 

I hope that I am a good father 

Or at least that I was a good father 

I love you 

I miss you 

I wish I could hold you 

It's over 2 years since I saw you face to face 

It's coming up for 2 years since I was deported from home 

I only want to come back 

Your dad

Today, tomorrow and forever xoxo

Hi 7-28-14

Good morning (mine)

Off to work soon

Yuck

Lol

It's all good

I don't really mind work 

How are you?

How was your weekend?

It was good to get texts from you 

I really love  that 😎😎

I miss you 

I live you 

I dreamed of you on Friday night 

It's good and bad

I dreamed that I would see you but not for years 

So that's the good and bad 

But I think I told you that already 

I hope I did

I found a fan in the spare room here last night 

So I have put that on my window and will use it in the evenings when I come home 

I have the room door shut now that my roommate is home 

It was hella warm in here last night with no air circulation 

The fan helped a lot 

I don't want it on all the time though

That's just not necessary 

On Saturday night (I forgot to tell you) it hit 95 degrees 

Wow

That's the highest it's ever been here 

I'm impressed 

Siobhan (roommate) has returned from Ireland

She was grumpy when I got in last night 

Oh well

That's life

Traffic was bad all the way down the country 

So her drive took 1 hour extra 

I can understand how that would be bad 

We've got no phone here now 

Odd

But it's being switched over for a new line 

It's all good

Strange that the phone # will change 

It's not a # I've ever called 

Lol

Ok time for work and getting ready 

I love you with all my heart 

Oh I forgot to say that I had a good day on the boat yesterday 

That was fun 

I am slowly overcoming my hatred of being on a boat 

I might take a big ferry soon :-) unlikely but it's something to think of 

Love always 

Daddy xoxo

Hi 7-27-14

Good morning Sebastian and Kaitlin

It was awesome to get a picture of you making cakes yesterday 

Wow

Great stuff

Hope that you enjoy baking

We can bake together at some point :-)

Is that good?

Yesterday as you know I needed ocean therapy 

I was in need of the beach 

I went to one and the tide was in but that's ok

Afterward I fell asleep on the beach and burned a little 

All good 

My neck is mind of burned 

Oops

Anyway once I woke there was a little sand and that was cool 

I love the sand

My goal is a different place each weekend 

I also found this awesome castle place 

It was closed so will go back 

Brilliant 

I will take Sherry to see these places as well

She'll love it 

Totally awesome stuff 

I miss you and I love you 

Off to get a dunkin donut - meeting Fiona 

Then a walk around a lake or by the river 

Hopefully nice and warm again today 

The dashboard on the car turned off on the way to the beach yesterday 

That was odd

I stopped on the shoulder and started the car again and she was fine 

But that is kind of worrying 

Maybe the old girl does not like the heat too much 

Aunt Tina said she was doing good 

That's great 

She asks how I am 

Which is nice 

Brian put on my Facebook about the new Bugatti for 2016

That was cool too

Do you play with them at all these days?

Love you 

Miss you 

Daddy xoxo

Hi 7-26-14

Good morning Sebastian and Kaitlin

I hope you had a Good Friday 

I miss you and love you 

I wish I were there with you 

I truly do

I miss you with all my heart 

I can't stand being apart from you 

It hurts 

I fight all the time with people here because it hurts so much to be apart 

Fiona finally almost realized what it means to not see her kids everyday 

But she can't understand the permanent part as Ben and Millie will return it her on Sunday

No one really gets it 

I try to share things that I see here with you 

I hope that keeps me in your mind and in your hearts 

That's all I can ask for 

I will go to the beach and take pictures again today 

I will email a link for those to you (via text) as I think I might stop adding to Facebook 

I added a picture of the Denali (Sherry's car and the one that I will use in Mexico) it Facebook and git yelled at by others for it 

So I guess people still troll me all the time 

Oh well

That's what Facebook is for 

Hate 

Lol

I miss you so much

I can't believe it's been 23 almost 24 months since I was there in America and more than 2 years since I saw you 

God it's a very a long time 

I know that the relationship we had once will never materialize again and that we'll be forever rebuilding 

It makes me want to cry 

Really and truly 

I hated that I was ripped away from you 

I would never have left your side 

I couldn't leave your side 

I needed you 

I still need you 

You are mini me's and that I all I ever wanted - children

You are perfect children too 

I never complained about you 

I never under estimated you 

I have always believed in you 

I always will believe in you 

You are everything to me 

I miss you 

It hurts 

I hope you have a good day today 

Love you always and forever 

Daddy xoxo

Hi July 25 2014

Good morning Sebastian and Kaitlin 

I hope all is well there 

What have you been doing?

Anything exciting 

I hope you got to have a good afternoon with mom on Wednesday

The internet at the house isn't working now 

Huge pain 

What am I supposed to do at night?

Lol

It's ok just a pain

Hopefully this weekend it will be sorted out and all will be good 

Who knows 

My roommate is back and it's her house / internet etc 

She's ordered a new one from the satellite company 

Should be quicker 

It's been warm here for a few days 

Honestly quite nice 

But in reality in my little room wow it's hot 

I've been sweating 

Yeah 

It's all good 

I like it 

The replacement car is going well

Haven't really been anywhere this week

But that's ok

I might go to the beach tomorrow 

In fact I'm pretty sure I will go to the beach 

I need sand and sea

Lol

I always need sand and sea

Soon sherry will be here 

That will be fun

Think that she's staying here for a while 

Maybe we'll go to Mexico together 

Hopefully so 

My neck has and is still quite bad 

I've had a massage this week and I was so sick earlier in the week that I haven't walked at all since Sunday 

That for me is a long time 

Ill get back into walking next week

I hope so anyway 

I miss you so much

I love you with all my heart 

Daddy xoxo

July 24 2014

Good morning Sebastian and Kaitlin

How are you 

How is your week

Did you do anything with mom this afternoon?

Hope youngest to have some fun

I went to a pretty place and took a video for you 

I hope you liked that 

I hope that it makes you feel closer to me 

I need to feel closer to you 

That's for sure 

I really miss you 

I have had a really hard week here

I've been way sick 

I think the migraines are finally abating but Monday and Tuesday I could barely see

It's a bad way to be 

I had a massage (neck) yesterday and feel much better for it 

It's also colder / less muggy this morning and I feel better for that too 

So all good

Hopefully 

Yesterday was 80 degrees but it's not like home 

It's muggy here like the heat is hard work 

I don't know why 

See,a so odd

We're used to real heat 100+ but at 80 on the weekend I was so tired 

It felt like 129 coz of the humidity 

No worries 

I still love the heat

I miss you so much 

I love you with all my heart 

What have you been doing this week 

I hope you've been  having fun 

Did you go anywhere?

Lots of love 

Hope you see the B's and T's and get to play too 

Daddy 

Always and forever in my heart xoxo

Hi 7-23-14

Good morning Sebastian and Kaitlin

How are you?

How was / is your week

1/2 way through that's cool,

One day closer to being there with you 

That a even better 

I am still so very tired 

And I am having a hard time seeing the screen spin both the iPad and at work

Sucks 

Today after work I am getting a neck and shoulder massage 

I need it 

I think I will take the week of waking and exercise 

Just veg out after work 

The pain in my neck yesterday was so bad that I almost started crying 

Oops

Good I didn't 

Lol

What have you been doing these last few days 

Thank you for then

"I love you" and "hi" texts 

They are always so nice to receive 

I live for those 

Grandma and grandpa are good 

I haven't seen them this week but last week they were great 

Nikki is going to France in a couple of weeks for most of the month 

That's kinda cool 

Good for her and the kids 

It's nice that she's able to get away 

I hope the kids enjoy it 

She's going without Mike to start off and then he'll join them

I'm sure she's at a friends place 

Wouldn't surprise me at all

Love you 

Miss you 

Want to hold you

Want to see your smile 

Always and forever your daddy xoxo

Hello Juky 22 2014

Good morning 

How are you both?

I hope you are ok

I have been sick

Right now I can hardly see the letters son the iPad 

It's. It a good feeling 

I wish I could just stay home from work

But that's not me

I have to go 

I have to call in sick

But if I have to I will

I promise I'll take care of myself

I just need rest 

I am so tired 

I don't understand what has happened 

Anyway 

It / I will be fine in time 

I might get my eyes tested this week

I think I should 

But then usually I am ok

I hope that I don't have diabetes like dad

That would suck 

But we'll see

It feels like my neck is very far out and I need to crack my bones 

But simply put they are not cracking 

Hopefully I can deal with this and feel better in a few days 

I am drinking lots and lots of water 

:-) 

Work is ok

Hell for a while but overall ok

The green car is good

She smoked when I started her on Sunday with the a/c on 

So I have to start with the a/c off and she's totally fine 

Bizarre .

I can live with that 

For what amounts to a $100 car I think I have a good deal 

The tires are better than the gold car so that's a bonus 

She's a quieter car 

No strange noises 

So great news 

What have you been up to this weekend 

No pictures ??

I'd live to see your faces and smiles 

That would be awesome 

Thank you for letting me know your shirt / pant / dress and shoe sizes 

I can see what I like now and get that for you if I see stuff that I think your going to enjoy

It will be part of the Christmas collection of stuff that I get for you 

I love you 

I miss you 

I wish I could hold your hard 

Soon I hope 

Love always 

Today tomorrow and forever 

Daddy xoxo

hi July 21 2014

Good morning Sebastian & Kaitlin

How are you?

I hope your Sunday was a good one 

Kaitlin thanks for getting back to me with your shoe and dress size

Hopefully Sebastian you will soon

I'll get you some stuff from here and mail it when I see adorable outfits 

I hope that's ok

I miss you so much 

I love you with all my heart ❤️❤️

Yesterday was odd for me

I fell down the stairs at the apartments 

Not the ones inside but the external ones 

Weird 

Then I went to hazel's baby girls christening and the church was so hot inside and such a lack of air that I felt like I was going to pass out 

It took a while to recover from that 

Weird 

I ended up watching a movie 

I knew the a/c would be on in a movie 

I saw planet of the apes 

It was quite good 

I even went to bed at 10pm

I was that tired 

Weird huh 

Just the way that it goes I guess

We had more and more rain last night 

Surprise 

I sent you the video 

I'd just got in when that thunder and lightning started 

When I'd gotten out of the movies it was raining 

Oops

Coz no jacket, no umbrella and flip flops 

Wet toes for daddy 

Lol

It's all good 

I'll always dry out :-) 

This morning there's a breeze at the house 

That's nice 

Hopefully there will be one at the office too 

If not I'll put the a/c on for everyone today 

I think I'm getting to the office way too early these days 

I need to get there later and make myself less available all the time 

I am there at 645 and generally there until past 6pm each day 

That's too much 

Too many hours for no real reason 

Just I'm up so I may as well go 

I think maybe I won't get up quite so early any more 

What do you think

Good idea?

Siobhan is in Ireland this week

So it's nice I have the house to myself 

I don't use the rest of the house anyway 

Except I did manage to do extra laundry on the Saturday 

I'll do more tonight or tomorrow night as well 

I feel better that way 

The lore laundry done the better 

I don't mind it drying in the house if no one else is here 

Hopefully the sheets and bedding are all dry now 

:-) 

Should be given the weather here on Sat and Sun

I love you with all my heart 

I miss you with all my soul 

I need you 

I want to see your smiles and hear your voices

Love always 

Daddy xoxo

Hi Juky 20 2914

Hello Sebastian and Kaitlin

How are you?

Hope you are well

Hope you had a good Saturday

It was lovely to text you and talk to you via video 

I hope you like that I sent a video and some selfie pictures

I love you 

I miss you every second of every day and I want to be there holding you 

I want to be there watching you grow up 

I am so sorry that I am not there and am not the biggest part of your life 

I always only ever wanted to be your dad

Nothing else mattered

i hope that one day I will be again 

I loved the beach that I went to yesterday 

Wow

So nice there 

Amazing 

It was almost like San Diego 

So funny the first part of the beach - the dunes there was no one I rounded the corner and there were masses of people

I walked about 15-18 miles yesterday 

Wow

Quite good

I parked a mile outside of the place to start off 

As they wanted $12 to park and I thought that was too expensive

So impound street parking! 

I'm usually good at getting street parking 

I tend to do that as it will force me to walk a little further 

Today I ave a christening to go to 

Wish I was taking you with you me 

The car show was good too

But not that many cars showed up

That's sad

Oh well

Still got to hold Ms Buckinghamshire 

That's always good 

She was cute 

Could have used her today for the christening I am going to

Hate going to places alone 

Oh well

It's all good 

It's for hazels daughter in my office 

Her name is Ava

It's a nice name 

We have bought a card and a present 

I thought it nice to do that 

I want to go wearing shorts a polo and flip flips 

I might take a change of shoes 

That would be better right 

The newer Lexus is ok

It smells a little at higher speed but oh well

It does 80 all day long 

I have had it for 5 days and done 345+ miles already 

Lol

Can't say I don't get around 

The person who Blount the old car asked if I had told the insurance co of the damage 

Nope

I also hadn't noticed that the stamps in the service guide were for a different plate 

I'd not looked to be honest 

Wow

Weird 

Lol

His issue 

Love always 

Today, Tomorrow and forever 

Dad xxx

Hi 7-19-14

Good morning Sebastian and Kaitlin

How are you?

Hope you are well 

Hope you have has a good week

Hope you are planning a good weekend 

What are you doing today? 

Today I will sell the old car 

I am getting 65% of what I paid for the replacement one 

So that's cool

I didn't expect to make money on the deal

After all I broke it 

I just want it gone now 

I've been leaving it in the road all week 

And there's no insurance on her 

Oops

Anyway it's all,good

Will be fine 

Hopefully 

For England it's been very warm the last few days 

That's nice and all but at the same time the humidity is amazing 

Last night I was dripping in sweat yuck :-( 

This morning it should be cooler as it's raining 

But who knows 

I miss San Diego 

I miss you 

I want to be with you 

I want to hold you to see you smile 

To take you shopping and to dress you up 

I miss all the good stuff about being a parent 

It's hell without having that in my life 

I know it sounds odd but that was always awesome 

Shopping with or for you 

Seeing you daily that all made a huge difference 

Now it's gone 

I might never get that back 

But I hope I will 

Have to get ready to sell the car 

All kinds of silly forms to complete 

Never sold on to a private person before 

Lol

I love you both with all my heart 

I hope you are all ok 

Hope mom is ok and treating you well

Love always 

Dad

Today, tomorrow and forever xxx