May 1 2014

Good morning Sebastian & Kaitlin

How are you

I hope all is well

I am ok

I saw grandma yesterday 

She asked about you 

She also gave me a lot of grief about the choices and that you'll need to trust me again

I understand mostly that you'll need to trust me again

But it is very hard to continually ever beat up 

Then Fiona has a go at me

So surprised that I did not speak the truth to her

Oh well 

Life 

The car is messing up too

The brakes aren't working right and the seat is broken 

Remember Eric replaced the seats in the black one

I might need the same thing done again here 

Darn it 

And the alarm in the middle of the night keeps going off 

Siobhan will definitely have something to say about that soon

Oh well

Whatever 

I just am not motivated anymore 

Hate things the way that they are 

Feel so sad

All the time

All I want is to hold you again 

But I never know when that will happen

I love you 

I miss you 

I hope you are both ok

I mailed some money off yesterday - sorry that it was late 

Daddy xoxo

Hi 4-30-14

Good morning 

How are you both?

I hope all is good

Wow

It's 4/30 already

That month has flown by 

I'll be sending you $$ this week

Sorry it is later than usual with Eamonn getting hurt I didn't get paid

I love you 

I miss you

I will also send another set of toys again soon

Is there anything you need / want specifically 

I have started your Christmas box

Lol

I know way early

Plus when Fiona goes to America I will ask her to get me some iTunes cards for all of you

Off to work soon

Joy

Way foggy here this morning 

It will be a cool drive

Love the fog

Especially the way that I go to the office now

Up and over a mountain range 

Better as it is almost constant moving  instead of through a town with multiple lights and major roadworks

Work was ok recently 

Not as hectic 

Which is great 

But I still don't like going

I'd like to work from home again

That is what makes me feel best

I seem it have headaches a lot and just a lack of energy recently 

That just sucks

I hate it 

I just wish I could I shake that feeling 

Lots of love 

Now and forever 

Hope that school is ok

What 2 more months and it's done. 

In September you'll start a new school right Sebastian?

So exiting

Omg I wish I could take you there 

Love always 

Daddy xoxo

Hi 4-29-14

Good morning

Thank you both for your pictures 

That is so nice

Glad that you like the dunkin donuts t-shirts

They look cool on you (S - I didn't see it in you yet K)

I hope you like

Did you get the box with some bears in?

I hope so

I like the pictures with Shyla and aunt Vina too

They are lovely 

I miss you

I love you

I wish I wee with you

Eamonn managed to hurt himself this weekend

That sux

He was in the ER yesterday and needs to go back today

Muppet hit himself with a fence pole

Ouch

How is school

How is home

How are you 

Have you heard from Aunt Tina etc

Do you see Other Mummy?

I talked to the lady at the nail shop by Temple Heights 

That was nice 

I am going to marry Aunt Sherry

I will sponsor her to live in the the UK and she can the help me come home to you 

She's very nice 

I can't wait for her to meet you

She's like Sami 

So gentle

Love you 

Miss you 

Forever your daddy 

xoxo

Hi 4-28-14

Good morning

Like are you both?

I hope you have had a good weekend 

How was Sunday?

Did you do anything?

I ended up in Oxford

Nice place

A small town next to it is called littleworth and was very cute

Nice roads and nice homes

I could live someplace like that 

It would be lovely

A long commute to the office though.

2 hours

Not a good thing with gas so expensive here

How is mom

I hop she is ok

I miss you guys so much

I talked to Erik (from the store) he misses you both too

He was asking about you 

He was also telling me he hasn't seen his son in a long time either 

That's harsh 

She won't let him go there 

Every now and again she calls and asks for money or will allow him to see Nathan

But it's rare 

Poor guy

It's like me

I just want it see you two 

Nothing else matters

I am working on my plan of action for that 

I promise 

I love you 

I miss you

Daddy forever xoxo

Hi 4-27-14

Good morning

I hope that you are both well

Did you enjoy being at the mall with Andrew and his mom when it was closed Sebastian?

Sounds good and exciting 

Good job you were able to get out!!

How are you?

What are you doing this weekend?

I went exploring again - just realized that I didn't add the link to Facebook

I was at the beach

Got some good shots

I quite liked it 

I might go it a place called Cambridge today 

Just for a drive

I'm not sure

Fiona keeps texting me asking what I am doing 

Guess she wants to get together

Nope

Not today can't be bothered to see people

I was up at 430 coz of work

That bites 

Oh well

Love you 

Daddy xoxo

Hi 4-26-14

Good morning

I'm glad  that you saw and liked the Facebook post for you 

That's great

I did have another one but some people commented and they see idiots so I removed it and reported the one you saw

;-)

How is school

How is home

How is mom

Is she ok?

Hope all is good 

It's Saturday morning here just before 8am

Friday night midnight there

You know my home is always there right?

My home is where my heart is 

Where my heart belongs 

With you two

This morning I have woken up awkwardly 

I might have to take a pain pill my neck is very bad 

I will be ok

I am siting on my bed 

It's good to not have to rush

I might have a red bull for breakfast!

Lol

I quite like them

I know Kaitlin did too

do you ever get a Starbucks hot chocolate any more 

Or green tea frap?

They wee quite good

I will go have a latte today 

It's pouring rain here too 

(As usual)

Love you with all my heart 

Daddy xoxo

Hi 4-25-14

Good morning Sebastian and Kaitlin

How are you both?

Cool that I got a text from Kaitlin overnight

That always makes me feel good

I had a weird dream

That Sebastian was lost and I had to find him

But I couldn't 

It was scary

When I woke up I had a text from Kaitlin

Weird

Work has been awful this last week

Too much too do

Not enough time

Eamonn (boss) has been in the office all day every day

So that's not helping!!

Lol

I love you 

I miss you 

I talked (text) with Stephanie this week as well as Aunt Tina

That is always nice

Do you still see them?

Do you see the B's?

I hope so

Did you get Easter cards?

I did mail them

I mailed some other stuff this week too 

Hope you'll like it

Aunt Sherry is talking about coming here to London again.

Not sure when

I read an article about letting people back in 

That might help me 

But I'm not sure yet

Love you and miss you loads

Daddy xoxo

Hi 4-24-14

Good morning Sebastian and Kaitlin

How are you?

I hope all is well

Daddy's been a little sick

After the 1000 mile drive this weekend I think exhaustion caught up with me

I was just so tired yesterday 

I could barely see

I could hardly drive

I ended up just coming home and chillin

I almost fell asleep but not quite 

Feel bad for wasting the time but it was needed 

I did text with Aunt Tina

She's had a crazy stalk her 

She's gotten a new # fortunately and is able to be ok now

That's good 

I hope that the guy goes away 

She's having to go to court and everything to get a restraining order 

Wow

That's arduous 

Hopefully she'll be good and get through this 

I sent you her new # via text 

I miss you 

I love you 

Yesterday I needed to see a smile and get a hug

That would have made a world of difference 

Some days are harder than others 

I know that this is the same for you both too

Love always 

Daddy xoxo

Hi 4-23-14

Good morning 

How are you both?

I finally got a little sleep

Yeah

It was good

I miss you

I love you 

I wish I were there with you 

Taking you places 

Exploring with you 

I miss that 

I miss the beach too

Stephanie texted me yesterday that was very nice 

It's been a while since she and I spoke 

I've missed her too

She's always so bubbly 

I want some good sushi.

Looking forward to some with Aunt Tina when I return 

Can't wait 

As for my return 

Well I am working on a plan

Let's see whether this will work

I can only hope so

I am trying to wait it out until December again and reapply for the I212

The longer you wait the better the chances are 

Once I've reapplied and they agree I might get to come home

If not well I have a second plan that I am working on

Love you both with all my heart 

Hope you have good grades still and as enjoying school

I love you 

Daddy xoxo

Hi 4-22-14

Good mornings

How are you?

I hope you are well

I hope you had a good weekend

I did

My adventure is at an end 

I have to return to work

When I got in yesterday Siobhan had turned off the heat at the house

It was way cold

Way, way, way cold

It also rained from around 4pm to 6am

That's a lot of rain - 14 hours straight 

Like wow

I miss you 

I love you 

I wish you were here with me

Did you see any of the pictures I took

The minor museum was cool

I loved that 

Off to work now

I hope you sleep well

I hope you have a great day when I talk to you next 

Remember I used to get the cuts on my heel

Still have them

Way painful 

Hate them

Oh well

It's a thing in life for some people

Moisturize guys - it's important :-)

Love you with all my heart

Dad xoxo

Hi 4-21-14

Good morning Sebastian and Kaitlin

How are you?

Good that you texted me yesterday 

I have missed that

I miss you 

I love you 

I wish you were here with me 

It's so sad that you are not 

I can't wait to hold you again

To talk face to face 

To hug

One day 

I have a plan in action now 

Will take a while but it is coming 

Yesterday I took a train ride

That was cool

Steam power - so it was like a Thomas the tank engine train

That was very good

The journey of 8 miles took 30 minutes each way 

How people got anywhere in the old days is a mystery

Lol

I stayed over at Fiona's last night with the kids

I slept on the couch

It's quite comfortable 

It started to rain real hard on the way down so I thought with being tired I should stay

Turned out a good idea as this morning it's sunny and nice 

Love it 

:-)

Much better to drive in the sun than the rain

I miss you 

I love you

Love forever 

Daddy xoxo

Hi 4-20-14

Good morning 

How are you both?

Hope all is good

Hope you had a good Saturday

Have a great Easter

My Saturday was good

Went to a car museum and on a boat cruise

It's like Lake Tahoe here 

Only not as good

The boat trip was awesome

But omg it was cold on the lake

Thinking today on the way back I'll see an Abbey and how they make candles

Should be good

What did you do?

Hope you had a good time

I did 

I miss you 

I love you 

I wish you were experiencing the boat trip with me 

Happy Easter 

Love you so much 

Daddy xoxo

Hi 4-19-14

Good morning

How are you?

Hope that you had a Good Friday

I did

I ended up in the car for hours

It was great - loved it 

So many cars

might take a small train today in the mountains 

Not sure yet

When I got here I went for a nice walk and a had some Indian beer :-)

What are you doing this weekend

Are you having fun someplace 

Hope so

Hope you have a great weekend and that you enjoy yourself 

I'm going g to go further exploring later 

Only have very limited internet access 

So going to say hi and bye quickly today

I love you 

I miss you 

Daddy xoxo

Hi 4-18-14

Hi Sebastian and Kaitlin

How are you?

Hope you are well

Hope that you have today off

Do you?

It's Good Friday here - mainly coz we don't work

I stayed the night at Fiona's house 

Weirdly I am all alone

Ben went to his dad's (I thought I was taking care of him)

Millie went to her boyfriend 

Fiona went to work

Fiona works nights and will be back in an hour or so

Then we will go explore some of England

I thought why be alone all the time when I can have some company 

Hope that is ok

Work was ok yesterday 

Mainly coz I knew I was leaving early 

I haven't brought my laptop 

As I have then ipad and hoping to not work that much 

If possible 

A drive that usually takes 2.5 hours yesterday took almost 4

Joy!

Wow

But it is all good 

I miss you 

I love you 

I wish I were there with you 

I wish you were exploring with me 

I hope one day you'll see what I see 

That will be great 

I hope one day that you will be able to visit me and I you 

That we'll take trips together 

I know we will 

Just hope it is sooner rather than later

Love you with all my heart 

Daddy xoxo 

4-17-14 Hi

Good morning 

How are you 

How is school

How is homework?

I hope you are ok.

It's good that you text me 

I like it

Makes me feel closer to you 

I miss you so much

Sherry and I are working to get to you 

:-)

We like (more than that) one another 

With Sherry helping it will be easier 

Still very arduous but easier than doing everything alone

At least I think so

What are you doing for Easter

I hope you have a good weekend 

I'm off work this afternoon and until Tuesday morning 

So off exploring the countryside 

I will take lots and lots of pictures

I miss you so much 

You guys are the motivation for me getting up in the morning 

The motivation for not driving into a the bridge or off one 

It's so hard to have a life without the two most important children in the world next to 

I want to see you hold you 

Love you 

Now and forever 

Daddy xoxo 

Hi 4-16-14

Good morning

It was great to see that you have a Facebook account 

Even better that you posted a picture of you both

Awesome Sebastian :-)

I'm impressed with your grades all E's and not so impressed with the N's for Kaitlin

But we can work on those

I have a plan in motion that will assist me in getting back there - hopefully 

It's a good plan

It's a legal plan

Once it is more likely then I will explain more to you 

But rest assured that daddy has never ever stopped thinking that he'd come home to you two

The sooner the better 

I love you 

From the second that you ewe both born I have existed only for you 

You are both the love of my life and my heart breaks to not be with you 

You can send me letters if you want 

To grandma's house or to my friend in California

Whatever I'll get them

I really really miss you 

I hope that it will be in 18-24 months that we get to hold one another again

Love always 

Daddy xoxo

Hi 4-15-14

Good morning Sebastian and Kaitlin

Good that you are on Facebook Sebastian 

That's cool

You will see more and more links to pictures and things that I see now

Will you share this with Kaitlin

How is mom

I hope she is ok

I hope that she is doing well

Does she have the same boyfriend still or a new one?

Whatever she's doing and who,ever she's seeing that's great 

Mom told Fiona that you were doing great in school 

She said that K was doing only ok

That's not so good Kaitlin

What's wrong Princess Bubbles?

Are you ok baby girl?

I miss you both so much 

I miss your faces, your smiles, your voices, your laughter 

Everything about you 

There is nit a second that goes by that I don't think of you 

I'm trying to make a deal to get back

Things will be crazy and seem crazy but that might be the only way back soon

I can't stress enough how important you are to me

Seriously you are all I think of 

You are the reason that I get out of bed 

I love you 

I miss you 

Daddy xoxo

Hi 4-14-14

Good morning 

How are you both?

I hope you had a good weekend

Mine was ok

I went exploring on both days 

Loved it

Coastal on Saturday and inland in Sunday

Hope you has a good one

I sent the pictures to your email

You'll get to see them one day 

I hope

Hopefully it will make a difference to you 

With luck I will be home and with you soon

I have a plan

It's not a great plan but nevertheless it is a plan

If it starts to work out then I will tell you more

:-)

I kiss you so much

I love you with all my heart 

I wish I could hold you 

I wish I could see you when you woke up

I wish I could tuck you in at night 

Or I wish that you could fall asleep on me like before 

Living without you is hell

It's like being only almost alive 

I survive

I look at families and think I used to have that 

Think that one day I will have that again 

I know grandma sent you some money for Easter 

I hope you enjoy it 

I hope that you get to spend it 

If you'd rather she sent you other stuff let her know

I have sent some stuff for you 

I hope you get it 

I hope you like it 

I am starting to build up your Christmas presents already 

That way you'll have a lot of stuff from me 

:-)

Love always 

Daddy xoxo

Hi 4-13-14

Good morning Sebastian and Kaitlin

How are you both?

How is / was your weekend 

I know you were in Pj's until almost 4pm

You did a FaceTime with me 

:-)

I miss you 

I miss taking you out 

I miss getting food ready 

I miss the things a father should be doing 

I miss everything about out life together

I even miss telling you to do homework 

I wish, pray and hope that I will one day see you again

I am trying to get there 

Sherry asked me if she could help and I said yes

It will be hard work with Sherry but that is the way that it is 

If it means that I get back there then so be it 

It is worth anything to me 

Yesterday I went for a 10+ mile walk

Finally able to wear flip flops

Awesome :-) 

I was at the beach 

Finally sand

Although mostly stones

I have added the pictures to the shutterfly site.

Once you want to you'll get to see them

I need to work on my core 

Make the stomach fat go away 

I think that I am getting fat

Lol

I am going to Middle England for Easter

That should be cool

Can't wait 

I will see Ben and Amelia May and Fiona on the way up and down

If they want to come with me they can

But I doubt that they will want to come 

It's a long drive

But great roads

I drove an Escalade yesterday 

I've missed that 

I also drive an Expedition

Loved that too 

So soft 

It is so much easier with the steering wheel on the left 

I can work the controls for the heat/ radio and phone much easier on that side with my right hand

Love you so much 

Miss you with all my heat 

Daddy xx