Friday, September 20, 2013

September 21 2013 ~ Good Morning

Good morning Sebastian & Kaitlin

How are you?
I hope all is well
I hope that your school is going well
Are you learning new things?
What?

Are you happy in school
I hope so

I hope that your lives are going well

I am trying to pay bills there as well as here 
It is not easy
Please never think that I do not want you 
I do 
With all my heart
I want nothing more 
But it see you and talk to you I must pay the credit cards and restitution there 
These take a large amount of my income and therefore it is hard to save to bring you here
I also worry that if you come I might not cope with putting you back on the plane 
Or worse you won't want to go
I can't do that to mom
She does not deserve more pain and suffering and heartache 
No one does

I have learned that with few exceptions I don't have friends in London or America
It's a sad realization 
But it is one that I accept.
I have no choice

I have made a new friend in Jessica 
She is pregnant and due to marry her significant other in the fall or early next year
She is nice 
She has had a lot of heartache in the past.

I have a friend in Jean
She is a runner
She is nice too
She is black
She and I sometimes take the day together and go exploring the countryside or the beach
It's quite nice to have some company 

The friends I miss are you two
You were and always will be my best friends
I miss you both so much 
I cry at night sometimes with blue and yellow because all I have of you is them
It is so sad that we were split up over what happened 

I lost you
I lost mom
Mom hates me now
That's ok
It's only ever been about the two of you for me 
She knew that too
Maybe she just did not want to face those facts 

Anyway 
Today I will go to the coast 
Probably with Jean
She's in central London so might not make it to me by the time I want to leave 
If not I'll go alone 

Work started this morning at 5am with tickets 
Quite frustrating 
But oh well.
Work is sometimes horrid but it is work and it pays some of the bills 

Love 
Daddy xoxo

Max Gascoine 
0744 791 2021
(Sent from my iPad)

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