November 27-13

Good morning

Hope you are both well

Hope you are happy

Try to be happy

I know we're apart ... That makes it harder but one day we'll be together

I hope

I live for the day that you and I get to hold one another again 

But I fear it is a day so far away that you'll never want me 

It eats my heat 

It eats my brain

It makes me so sad

Oh well

I will live but the real question is whether I want to

I miss you so much that I can hardly function

Fiona yelled at me she wants me to get on with life 

To try to make the best of it 

I am 

But God it is hard

I can't talk to anyone anymore 

It's ok

I'll keep it inside

Hopefully one day I will get to tell you in person how much this hurts me as well as I know how much it hurt you 

I'm so sorry

With all my heart and my being I am sorry that you are hurting from my forced absence 

I can't think of anything worse for you

We were a happy family and it was taken away from us

Ok so mom and I were not the happiest with one another but you guys and I that was what I woke up for everyday 

Now there's nothing 

I get the occasional text.

I'm depressed 

I might go see a doctor and get some happy pills in 2014

You never know that might just be a good thing 

I love you both

I miss you both

Oh last night I coughed so hard I threw up

Great huh

I remember coughing in Oceanside and getting yelled at for it 

Now I have no one who cares enough to yell at me 

:-( 

Love you so much

Daddy 

xoxo